Time marches on, right? Sometimes, I think time goose-steps all over me. Schedule things all you want and time will trip you when you least expect it. Time is a bully that way.
I run on a rather tight schedule most days. Well, I have a tight schedule in that theoretical sense that does not take into account my husband waking up late, my baby's teething issues, forgetting to pick up my breastfast food, how long it takes to pump, how many other deadlines I have, and the fact that NO ONE seems to respect my schedule (including me).
Honestly, it's not as bad as I'm making it sound. It's just that I'm trying to find the time to write my scholarship applications and the only time I can find is the time that I normally spend with my husband. He totally understands that I need to do this and we both know that it's just temporary but I like to have that time at night to watch TV and hang out.
In two short months I will no longer have 'me' time. I will have the time I devote to caring for my child and the time I devote to taking care of my schooling. I'm not even sure where I'm going to fit eating, sleeping, and showering into that particular schedule. My husband REALLY wants me to keep up with the showering, though. He's said so a few times as if he's already worried that he will soon be living with a stinky wildebeast. (He's already living with a furry one I only had time at night to shave OR pump and pumping won.)
I'm excited to start nursing school and yet I'm terrified. There seems to be so little time in my day already. Or maybe it's that time is sneaking up on me in other ways. It's been almost a year since my dad died. That anniversary is getting very close. It's been six years since my home invasion though that is a story I will tell another time.. if I choose to tell it. That anniversary is this weekend.
It's a hard two months to get through, in other words. It's also a hard two years to get through with school. I'm sure it'll be hard after that in other ways. Maybe it's just never as easy as we want it to be. Maybe I'm just being negative tonight because I'm nervous and I want to call my dad and have him tell me I can do it. Maybe I should just go watch Jeopardy now.
Time. It's a bitch.